Only In Your Imagination
by aalikane
Summary: SPOILERS FOR 2X21 FUNERAL: Kurt and Finn try and talk to a grieving sister.


Author's Note: Something I wrote last night about last night's episode.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it doesn't belong to me.

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><p>Sue Sylvester was a strong woman. She was a powerful woman. She was the type of woman who always got what she wanted. When she wanted all the kids in her school to stop teasing Jean, she showed them just what it was like to be teased back, and got them to stop. When she wanted her and Jean to find a decent foster home, where they could live together, she went out and found a nice elderly couple who agreed to take them in. When she wanted to find a respectable nursing home for Jean, one that would look after her sister, take care of her, entertain her and enlighten her, she searched all over the country to find one in Lima, Ohio.<p>

'_So why is it that she couldn't do what she wanted now?' _This was the question that she asked herself when Porcelain and Cottage Cheese walked through her door. "Coach Sylvester?" Porcelain knocked on the open door.

"We brought you some flowers and stuff. We're sorry for your loss." Of course they're sorry. Everyone is sorry. They're all sorry that Sue Sylvester lost her sister. Sue Sylvester doesn't want their pity though. That's the last thing she wants. She wants her life to go back to the way it was 10 days ago, before she got the heartbreaking call. Before her sister contracted pneumonia.

"Put'em over there with the rest." She told them, without much passion in her voice. "There were more arrangements, but I had to throw some of them out. I'm allergic to pansies. And I don't mean that as a swipe at either of you." Once again, emotionless. It didn't have the same Sue Sylvester bite that her comments usually did, even if they weren't insults. "So? Why'd you bother doing this? Buying me flowers, comforting me? After I've actively made your life a living hell, and enjoyed doing it." She stood up and looked out the window in her office, peering through the blinds to watch as students walked to and from class. Simple minded students, who had no idea how cruel the world really was.

"We both know what it's like to lose someone really close to you." Kurt reminded her of their up until recently, single parent families.

"I sorta do, my dad died when I was a baby."

Kurt muttered "his dad's dead, my mom's dead.." pointing to his step-brother and himself in turn, as if Sue Sylvester didn't already know their unique situation. Two boys, from two different families, pushed into brotherhood.

"So how do you think you can help me?" She asked, not believing that these two insignificant little children could really help her. She was Sue Sylvester, she was stronger than both of them combined. She didn't need the help of two teenagers, to get her through the loss of her sister. She would be able to do that just fine on her own. Sure, she didn't know exactly how she was going to do it, but she didn't want the help from two 17 year olds. She didn't want the help from Will Schuester who couldn't mind his own business. "Are you here to tell me how to deal with this?" She directed her question directly at Porcelain, because she knew Cottage Cheese never had a relationship with the person he lost.

"Not at all." He said, shaking his head. If that wasn't what he was here for, then what was he here for?

"Cause if I was being honest with you, Eddie Munster, and Herman Munster." She closed her eyes and swallowed the lump that was rising in her throat. "I don't know how to deal with this. I can't go back into that nursing home and start sorting through Jean's things." She said after a slight pause. "And I won't plan a funeral." There was no way Sue Sylvester was going to plan a funeral. Funerals were mundane. They were heartbreaking to sit through, especially when Sue would be the only one there.

"Have you told your mother yet?" Kurt asked her, but Sue never tells her mother anything. Her mother isn't her mother. Her mother was never her mother. Her mother was always off catching Nazi's and never had time for her daughters. Sue Sylvester had always wanted her mother to raise her and Jean….but in the end…she had to find a mother to take care of them in the way that they needed. So she just shook her head.

"As far as I'm concerned, she said her goodbyes to us years ago." Even Sue Sylvester couldn't deal with the awkward silence that followed, so she continued. "If you boys would really like to help me, you might start by explaining why it was her time, and not mine. She's the sweetest person I've ever met. And as both of you can attest, I'm probably the meanest. So how come I'm the one still standing here talking to you?"

Kurt and Finn just looked at each other. Finn was unsure of what to say, but Kurt pressed on. "I can't tell you that. That's dipping into a religious arena that I know both of us are uncomfortable with." Kurt remarked softly. "I know that you wish she weren't gone. I know that you wish she were still with you. It's the same way I felt after my mom died. Hell, I still feel that way sometimes. Sometimes I look at the way my life is going, and thing 'Man, I wish my mom was still alive. She'd know exactly how to handle this problem.' But she's not here anymore. Neither is Jean. Neither of them will ever come back."

"I know that." She said in a rather annoyed tone.

"Do you?" He asked, tilting his head so he could look at her face that was also tilted towards the floor. "Or are you still wishing that there was someway to bring her back?" Sue Sylvester remained quiet.

"I never had to go to the funeral of my dad. I never had to go through the phases of grief, or whatever it's called. But I do know what it's like to wish for my dad to return to life, even though I know it's not possible." Finn told her.

"You can't bring her back, but she'll always live on in your memory."

"You're right. There's nothing that is going to bring Jean back. There's nothing that's going to make any of this okay. Is that what you wanted to hear? That I'm upset about my sister being gone? Well there you have it." Sue turned and went to sit back down at her desk. "You know boys, I appreciate what you're trying to do. But it's not necessary. Please leave."

Sue Sylvester wasn't about to cry in front of anyone. She had to get those two boys out of her office before she broke down in sobs. She always got what she wanted and needed. When she wanted to infiltrate the Glee Club, she did so. When she wanted to bring it down a few notches, she did so. When she wanted it to return for an additional year, she made it happen. When she wanted Figgins to enforce the no religion in public school rule, she got him to. This was the one thing she couldn't get when she wanted it. She wanted her sister back. It wasn't going to happen. For the first time in her life, she wasn't going to get what she wanted. A lesson usually taught to children while they're in single digits, was cruelly being forced upon Sue Sylvester in her mid 40's and she was not taking to it well.

Sue, Kurt and Finn were sitting through Jean's room at the nursing home, going through all of her belongings. It usually wasn't something that two teenage boys would do, but they knew how hard it was going to be for Sue Sylvester. Kurt especially. He didn't want her to go through it alone. She had been there for him, when he felt like he was going to lose his father, and he was going to be there for her through this. "We sorted Jean's stuff into piles. Over there is some old magazines and newspapers that you can just toss…"

"And this is stuff that you're definitely gonna want to keep." Finn told her. "Photos, and stuffed animals." Finn continued on "And this third pile is stuff that we really don't know what to do with."

"Umm, pom pom?" Kurt lifted it up, asking a tad too cheerfully for Sue's taste.

"Toss it." She said, after looking at it for a brief moment. She remembers giving that pom-pom to Jean. It was right after she donated the money for the handicapped ramps for the school. She brought it for her sister, because she knew how much Jean loved that Sue coached cheerleading. It hurt too much to look at it. "It's not worth anything."

"Are you sure?" Kurt asked, before being cut off by Finn.

"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?"

"Aww, I love that movie." Kurt smiled.

"You can take it. It's probably worn out. She watched it at least 3 times a week." She said, not looking up from her clipboard. She had been trying to work on her speech the entire time she was there. It was probably a bad idea, thinking that being in the same room that Jean spent most of her life in, would give her some idea of what to say. But how does one even begin to start a eulogy? How does one tell the departed, that they're loved, and they'll never be forgotten? "Just toss it all out."

"What?" Kurt asked, genuinely shocked and surprised.

"You heard me, it's all junk." She noticed a small stuffed animal that was sitting on top of one of the boxes. "I'll take this stuffed animal. Jean's had this since she was six. Everything else just toss it out. I don't need it."

"But there are a lot of memories here…" Finn told her, bewildered at her actions.

"You know I'm not short on memories of my sister, so. "

"I know what it's like to lose someone. When someone dies, it hurts."

"Very astute, Porcelain." A tiny bit of the old Sue Sylvester bite comes back to her tone. "That's a little nugget of wisdom I'd really like to jot down."

"Coach Sylvester, we're just trying to help."

"You know what, Cottage Cheese? You're not helping, you're actually making things worse. So do me a favor and take all this stuff to the dumpster on the way to your rehearsal for whatever ballad you're planning on using to ruin my sister's funeral." She said as she went to walk out of the room.

"Coach, I'm sorry. But I really think after the dust settles, you're actually going to want some of these things." She stopped and turned around.

"What makes you think that, Porcelain? Do you think that I'm weak? That my memories of my sister will be forgotten?"

"Of course not. You'll never completely forget. But having physical… tangible thing always make the memories that much more clear. There are so many memories in this room. I'm willing to put money on it, that within 10 years, you'll be sorry that you threw all of Jean's things out. All her memories, all her possessions. Everything that she had, that gave her joy."

"You will want these one day." Finn insisted. "Even if she can't be with you physically, she'll always be with you emotionally. One way to keep her around physically, is to keep the things that made her laugh. That made her happy. Things that will remind you of her. Even if it's only in your imagination."

_Come with me, and you'll be_

_In a world of Pure Imagination_

_Take a look, and you'll see_

_Into your imagination_

_We'll begin with a spin_

_Traveling in a world of my creation_

_What we'll see, will defy explanation…._

_If you want to view, paradise_

_Simply look around and view it_

_Anything you want to, do it._

_Wanna change the world, there's nothing to it._

_There is no, life I know_

_To compare with Pure Imagination_

_Living there, you'll be free, _

_If you truly, wish to be…_

She never thought she'd hear the Glee Club perform something so moving. Usually they were doing raunchy sex numbers, or embarrassingly cheesy numbers. But this…this was moving. This was something that Jean would have loved to see. Sue Sylvester would never be able to put into words how much she appreciated the Glee Club right then and there. Because it was then that she understood the meaning of the song. It's not about what's physically there. It's not about the trophies that line the walls of her home, it's not about the track suits, or anything else in this world. It's about what she can imagine. What Jean could imagine. Sue knew what Jean would be feeling if she were sitting here right now. If she had watched the Glee Club perform a wonderful rendition of such a classic song. Jean? Jean would be in Heaven. It's with that knowledge that Sue can utter those two words, that she rarely ever spoke.

"Thank you."

Kurt smiled back at her, as a lone tear fell down his cheek. He knew he had finally gotten through to her.


End file.
